One of my co-sisters quit her job once she got to know she was pregnant. Whereas I never thought of quitting my job anytime during pregnancy. I continued working as though nothing had changed. I was the only woman working in my family then. All my relatives had a concern that I was working and I did not care for the baby. And this being my first time I was really confused. Could this be true? Did I really not care for my baby?
Initial scans of pregnancy reported that the baby was too small. Everybody complained that it happened because I did not prefer having non-veg food. Some also said that if it were my husband instead of me, the baby would have been really healthy because he eats anything without complaining. After 6 months both my baby and I started putting on a lot of weight. Now my parents had a concern that I ate lot of sweets and dry fruits.
There was a baby shower party which happened when I was in my 8th month. By this time, my weight had increased tremendously, my nose had swollen and so did my legs. My face and neck were getting dark. Some of the relatives who attended the function were seeing seeing me for the first time after I was pregnant. They were shocked. According to them I was the only one in the world whose looks had changed so much during pregnancy. They thought it was all because I was lazy and did not do enough exercise. One of my cousins asked me to eat less because the kid would not have enough space if I ate more :-O
The day my son was born, he looked very fair. My mom-in-law was happy - he had inherited the complexion from her son and not me. Six months later his complexion changed from fair to dark. My in-law complained that it was because of me :P.
I joined work soon after my son completed 4 months. My mother took care of him in my absence. When I was back to office all my friends were surprised to see me come back so soon. Few also suggested to take off again. This made me feel so bad - according to them I did not spend enough time with my son. I had to explain them that my son was comfortable with my mother. Few days later I was looking for a maid who could take care of my son because my mother decided to go back to her place. When I was discussing the same with my friends (all those who were newly married or single) told me I was really a bad mother. Some even said that when they plan for a kid they would quit job and only take care of their kids. For a while I thought I was committing a crime. Moreover my son is more affectionate to his father. I feel so guilty about it but its just that my husband pampers him a lot and I don't.
When my son was born, he weighed 4.1kgs (quite a big baby) but now he’s grown thin. I believe, he's like me. I remember all the things my mom had to go through just because I was lean. Everybody feels he is not given proper food and so he is thin. One of my colleagues who met my son in a office party told me that my son looks very lean. He also gave me some tips as to what he has to be fed and what not. It was not very practical to follow all that. I keep asking the same question to the doc as to why he is not gaining weight rapidly. Now the doctors are tired explaining me its natural!
Months passed and I noticed that my son had not developed tooth. Everyone seemed to have noticed it too. They started telling me that he wasn’t getting enough calcium. I remember taking him to the doctor complaining the same. The doctor just asked me to wait for a few more weeks and the next week he got his first tooth :D. The hospital I visit for his vaccine or any other medical attentions doesn't follow much of medication; do not insist providing calcium/vitamin supplements and such. Instead they follow a natural way of treatment - for example if the kid is having fever from 3 days but is active otherwise, they do not insist on treating them. According to my parents, my son has to be immediately taken to a hospital if he gets even slightly feverish. I sometimes listen to them and take my son to the doctor when he has fever. And the doctors will ask me to visit after 3 days without giving any medicines or sometimes ask me to continue the same medication that I have been administering him. Once back from hospital when I explain my parents as to no medicine is suggested by the doc, they claim that I am irresponsible to be taking my son to such a hospital where they do not treat for fever immediately.
My son is 2.8 yrs now. He speaks only Kannada(our mother tongue). All my friends feel that I am not teaching him to speak English. Once in our office party one of my friends says something in English to my son. He did not follow anything. When I told her that he can't follow English, she gave me such a disgusting look. He was then compared to another friend’s daughter who can speak English and is of the same age as him. I did nothing wrong anywhere but I am still made to feel guilty :(
